Sunday, June 26, 2011

Unwelcome Visitor

The Smyrna Zoo had an unwelcome visitor this past week.

On Tuesday, Bryan and I were hanging out when we noticed pieces of wood coming out from under the coat closet in our living room. We opened the door and couldn't see anything except for MORE wood chips and pieces...

At least 1 inch of the door... gone!
We looked at each other in panic and promptly shut the door. People, I am not a fan of "critters." In fact, I do believe I used that very word. Along with a few other more colorful ones. Bryan, being the manly man that he is immediately called the exterminators who told us they could come out THURSDAY. Whaaaaat? Thursday? Are you kidding me?? Surely you mean NOW.

Nope, they came Thursday. And so there was a definite "barricade" (read: recycling bin) in front of the door until the Arrow man came.

When the very nice Arrow man came, he looked about as excited as I was to find out what was in our closet. I believe he referred to it as "a vermin." {Really? Who still uses that word??} Anyhoo - he set up yet another barricade to guide whateveritwas out the front door and prevent it from running all over our house. He also asked me to step into another room because I was making him nervous and the "vermin" was enough. HA!

This is where the fun starts, lovies. I have never wanted to laugh so badly in my entire life. That nice man started pulling things out of our closet one by one and jumping back about 10 feet each time he did. By the time he had pulled out 7 or 8 things, I saw a SQUIRREL come running out of the closet, through the front door and he did not stop until he was all the way across the street and up Mrs. Housely's tree. That's right, buddy. You stay there and tell your friends too.

squirrel in the closet  = total destruction

Arrow Man started looking for an entry point and couldn't find one. Would you like to know how the squirrel got in according to him? It folllowed us in the house. Yeah, right. Would you like to know how I thought the squirrel got in?

I don't know how he missed this fist-sized HOLE IN OUR WALL, but he did. That's right - the damn thing chewed through the drywall and was feasting on the birdseed I kept in there. {Notice I said kept. Yep, sorry birdos. No mas seed for you.}I am picking up a drywall patch kit tomorrow. Until then, we have found yet another use for plastic grocery bags. Yep, that sucker is packed full of those things. Eat that, you nasty rat with fur. 

Bryan has a new motto: "Stupid squirrel. I hate squirrels." I think I'm going to have it made into a bumper sticker.


Angie said...

Sweet Jesus, I would've died. You know that though, right? :)

Abby said...

I do. :)

Jennifer & Jimmy said...

I would have absolutely died! What a story! Hopefully they will all stay in their own "houses" and not bother yours :).

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